6 Party Tips for the Antisocial

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1. Befriend any pets of the host, excluding rodents and snakes. (Or, even better, just don't hang out with people who keep rodents or snakes as pets.)

2. Pick a default and cling to him/her.

3. Ladies: Wear impressive heels and then stand/sit still at the party. Heels aren't cute if you can't walk in them.

4. Let people come to you- don't be that weirdo who lingers.

5. Watch people without them noticing. That way you can talk about the party on Monday and make it sound like you were actually involved in conversation.

6. Leave on a high note. Did you just tell a hilarious joke? Then get the hell out while you're on top!